St. Elmo's Fire
Jules Has
a Plan
JULES: And for our soup, Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Barley. How chic.
WENDY: Hi. Hi, Myra. These are my friends, Leslie and Jules. This is Myra.
JULES: Hi, Myra.
LESLIE: Hi.
WENDY: You need some salad.
LESLIE: Uh, how's Howie?
WENDY: Oh, well, I wouldn't say my father's trying to bribe me about it. He did offer me a Chrysler LeBaron convertible if I'd get engaged to him.
JULES: Have you fucked him yet?
LESLIE: Jules? Come on. Not funny!
JULES: Listen, get the car, fuck him, and if you don't like it, break the engagement. And then you can still fuck him. Wendy, I don't want to beat around the bush. We really came here because we're both worried about you.
WENDY: No, Jules, actually that was a scam that Leslie and I worked out because we're worried about you.
JULES: Moi? Okay, so what's up?
LESLIE: We're worried about you and this affair with your boss.
JULES: Forrester? Come on, he's wonderful.
LESLIE: Forrester's married.
JULES: Leslie, this is the '80s. Boff him for a few years, get his job when he gets his hands caught in the vault, become a legend, do a Black Mink ad, get caught in a sex scandal and retire in massive disgrace, write a huge bestseller, and become the fabulous host of my own talk show.
WENDY: Oh, well. Silly of us to worry.
JULES: It really is.
LESLIE: We're also worried about this affair with your boss.
JULES: Forrester? He's helped me so much. I mean, he's come up with so many alternatives for my step-monster's funeral.
WENDY: That's another thing. You seem obsessed with this woman's dying. It's creepy.
JULES: Well, it turns out cremation is just as expensive as the non-torch method. And if I don't come up with a cheaper solution, I'm gonna end up a bag lady. Of course I'll have alligator bags. Oh no! Do you know what? I've got to go. I just remembered I'm supposed to meet Forrester.
LESLIE: Jules, you haven't even touched your food.
JULES: That's okay. I really didn't want any. I'll talk to you guys later. It's been a wonderful talk. It was nice meeting you, Myra. I'll talk to you guys later, okay? I'm sorry I have to go…
WENDY: Oh, God.
LESLIE: I told you.